New Digs

For those interested in keeping up with "Baby Lightle," aka Sophie, we've started a new blog just for her with pictures and updates about new things she does. Feel free to check it out here: http://sophiacarmella.blogspot.com.

The wait is almost over!

Nine days overdue and counting...kind of frustrating, but at least I feel fine. Today we finally had some news, though. An ultrasound told us that my amniotic fluid level is low, which can lead to compression of the umbilical cord. Everything else seems to be ok; BL's heart rate is fine and she's not in distress or anything. So the doctor recommended we schedule an induction for 6am Monday morning...I guess that is the point of no return! I don't think Monday will end without our daughter having come into the world.

I'm not incredibly happy about being induced, though. There are no great ways to do it. Knowing that I wanted to avoid Pitocin and that moving around during labor was important to me, our doctor is planning on administering a different drug to ripen the cervix and stimulate labor. I agreed to this during our visit today, but after doing some research online I'm not so sure this drug is as safe as I'd like it to be. Of course, the internet is the best way to find horror stories if they exist. I just wish I knew how much to trust my doctor. I like her, she seems to respect my wishes, and she comes highly recommended, but of course I only know her in a professional capacity and in general I don't like the incentives that seem to govern health care procedures these days. Anyway, there is still time for BL to emerge on her own over the weekend, which I hope she does and then we can still try to have a natural birth. If not, we'll go to the hospital Monday morning, make it clear we absolutely want the safest induction method, and hope for the best! The whole pregnancy has been about as uneventful as you could get and I don't seem to have any condition or history whatsoever that should make anyone more cautious. So this weekend I'm just going to try to relax and try not to worry!

40 weeks...and counting

Well, April 2nd has come and gone, and nothing really of interest is going on. It's kind of strange, but even though the probability of BL's arrival increases each day, we feel like the anticipation has kind of diminished a little bit, and we've been pretty laid back the past couple of days. It just totally makes you crazy to dwell every day for weeks on the fact that it could happen any time. So I'm just trying not to think about it too much, which is fine, because I'm as ready as I can be. Also it makes me a little nervous because I know it'll probably be the hardest thing I've ever done, and there is so much potential for things to go wrong or not the way we would hope, so I'm definitely just trying to relax and enjoy life as a non-mommy while I still can.

I am looking forward to not being pregnant anymore, though. I miss my flat stomach and being able to fit regular clothes, work out, sleep in any position I want, drink wine and beer, eat sushi and cold roast beef sandwiches, etc. I went shopping with Sara last week and saw all kinds of things I'd like to wear if only I were skinny again! Instead I just bought big comfy cotton pants and nursing bras. :(

At the last doctor's appointment, I was dilated to 1cm (same as the previous two weeks). Each day, I feel like I'm carrying her lower and lower, and Sara said she could see that I got bigger even in the few days she was visiting. I told BL she should just come out, and do her growing on the outside! But I know she just needs to wait until she's ready. In the meantime, John tells her a story every night and she seems to be doing fine in terms of size, position, movement, and heartbeat.

Only a week to go?

Well, hopefully this is the home stretch. And yet, nothing really seems that different! I don't feel like I'm about to become a mother. I don't feel like my life is about to change forever. I don't feel like this big belly is about to turn into a real live baby that I can hold and talk to. I suppose you just can't imagine until it happens.

We had a big scare the last couple of days...we found some bugs in our bed (yuck) and elsewhere that we really thought were bedbugs. I was so distraught to think we would have to bring our newborn daughter home to an infested apartment! So then we called the exterminator and if you want to get rid of bedbugs, you basically have to clean your apartment out completely, emptying all the drawers and closets and doing all the laundry. We felt a task of that magnitude would be simply impossible, with John needing to spend as much time as possible on his dissertation now and me possibly going into labor at any time (not to mention, I can no longer cart laundry baskets back and forth to the laundry room). But then the exterminators looked at a specimen of the bug we gave them, and decided that they WEREN'T bed bugs! YAY! I never would have thought I'd be so happy to have beetles in my house, and apparently they don't bite humans and you can get rid of them with store-bought insect spray. This is a HUGE relief!

Meanwhile, I think everything is ready for the baby to get here. All her clothes are washed and ready for me to dress her up, we have all our other supplies (diapers, bottles, etc), and I've been keeping on top of the clutter and cleaning so that when I do go into labor, it won't be too messy when we get back. We even just did most of our laundry, so I don't have to worry about that for a while. My girlfriends are coming later this week, and assuming I'm still pregnant we're going shopping so I can get some nursing bras (my old bras totally don't fit anymore), some really comfy clothes to wear post-partum, and some durable sandals I can wear on walks with my new little girl.

People are starting to make real guesses now about BL's birthday. Annie said March 30th (also her birthday). Sara says April 1st (conveniently the last day she will be here visiting me). I say April 16th, by induction (since they don't let the babies stay in past 42 weeks). John, of course, found data on when women give birth in relation to their due dates and used that info to calculate the probability that I will go into labor for each day from now on; he updates it pretty much every day. According to those calculations, as of today the probability of going into labor rises above 50% on April 4th. Oh, the anticipation!

BL is officially full term!

Today is the beginning of week 37, which means that BL's parts should be all done! Very exciting.

On Sunday, we went to tour the hospital, so now we know just where to go when it's time. The facilities looked very comfortable, and the nurse showing us around also seemed nice. We even got to see some just-born little babies in the nursery! SO adorable...I can't believe I have one of those in my belly right now! They all looked so healthy and alert. Their poor parents had to get to the hospital in the blizzard!

Then Monday, we went to the doctor, who said there's nothing going on yet in terms of effacement or dilation. I was kind of disappointed about that, but from what I read it's actually not too much of an indication of when labor will begin. But she did say that the more happens before labor, the shorter your labor is...so I could be in for some trouble! :( But it's really too soon to tell. We also talked about my birth plan and in general she seemed ok with everything I had expressed on it. The only thing was she said I had to have a capped IV started, when I had said I didn't want one. It's not that big of a deal, and all it means is I'll probably labor for longer at home. But depending on what I learn from my first birth, I definitely might look into the home birth or birthing center options in Tallahassee!

Also this afternoon, we went to a second pediatrician that we liked much better than the first one. She can come to our hospital to check on BL after she's born, and her general attitude seemed much more consistent with what we were looking for, so we were happy.

That means everything is just about ready! I even bought clothes for my daughter for the first time this weekend...just a couple of pairs of pants for when we want to carry her out in the Baby Bjorn. It is hard to get everything all set and then have to wait for weeks more, but I guess that's just how it goes. I'm getting very excited but also a little scared at the same time.

Scroll down to check out some new pics!

36 Weeks: Less Than A Month To Go (We Hope!)

I guess we're basically at that point where we need to be ready for the big day, whenever it may come. We almost are. I think we have everything we need for BL, and Susan was kind enough to wash all the clothes/layette for us. I packed a bag for labor, but I still need to pack some stuff for post-partum, I suppose. I don't know what clothes to pack for that, or if I even have appropriate ones! I think I'm supposed to pick things that I don't mind getting kind of ruined... I hope we don't have any complications. We realized that we've really had it easy so far, but that doesn't mean that everything will be cake with the actual delivery, or even with our little girl. But we try not to worry too much.

A couple of things we haven't done yet are our hospital tour and settling on a pediatrician. The hospital tour is this weekend, so then we can check that off the list. We went to a meet-and-greet with a pediatrician last night, and were kind of surprised to find she wasn't a good fit for us. John thought she acted like she didn't need or necessarily even want our business. I didn't like how much she seemed to support formula feeding. Then right as we were leaving she said, "epidurals are a wonderful thing...make sure you get to the hospital in time to have one!" That just kind of rubbed me the wrong way, I guess, since I plan on laboring a lot at home and don't want to have an epidural. But most importantly, we found out that doctors from that practice don't come to OSU, where we're delivering, to do the first checkup, so we'd have to bring BL over to them in the first couple days. I doubt we'll feel like doing that, so we're meeting a different one next week.

Since I am going to try to have a natural birth, I've been very curious about my own pain tolerance. I think it's decent, but now every time I feel some type of pain I think to myself, "so, how much more could I stand, and for how long?" A couple of nights ago I had a pretty bad stomachache (not related to the baby, amazingly) that kind of incapacitated me for a couple of hours. The whole time, all I thought about was how much worse I could handle. Fortunately, the answer seems to be "a lot worse!" I'm finding there's a big difference between pain that just makes you want to lay on the couch and whimper, and pain that you actually can't bear. But despite what this sounds like, I'm actually just trying not to think about or anticipate it too much!

Week 34

We're just about ready for BL to be born and become a real member of our household! This morning, we went to a 4-hour childbirth class to learn about labor and delivery. John almost didn't go because he's sick and didn't want to infect all the other pregnant women, but we decided he would probably be able to keep his germs under control! We were almost certainly the youngest ones there. We learned about all the different choices you can make, as well as all the outcomes that really aren't under your control at all. It surprised me that only one other woman besides me said she was not planning to have an epidural. I may end up having one in the end of course, but it seems a little odd for the majority of first-time moms not to even give themselves the chance. But given that I'm going to try not to have one, it was very helpful to us to also learn different breathing/relaxation techniques. I thought it was good that your "coach" (that would be John) really has a role in all of them. We're supposed to practice them every night, but we might feel too silly, especially when there's no pain.

We also picked up a few other baby things that we wanted to have before the baby gets here: diapers, a diaper pail, diaper bag, and some nursing supplies. I hope I don't have too much trouble nursing...it actually seems pretty complicated sometimes! No matter how much I read, it seems like something I won't really understand until I do it. I'm a little scared of getting too tired...we did get a breast pump so that maybe John can feed her sometimes and let me sleep a little longer, but I know I probably still can't expect to get a full night's sleep. Thank goodness my schedule is so flexible!

We also saw the movie "Juno" last night. I did like it, and of course I teared up during the birth scene. Initially I was afraid it would take the whole pregnancy thing too lightly for me in my present state, but it did a great job of dealing with that subject, in my opinion. John and I both recommend it. We were commenting afterward that the ability to just go to a movie at 9pm on a Friday night on a whim is one that we really won't have very much longer at all.

Post-shower-weekend

Thanks to all who came to BL's shower! We loved seeing everybody, and she is such a lucky little girl to have so many people who care for her. We got lots of gear, clothes, books, and toys so that we'll be all ready when she gets here. Yesterday we rearranged the apartment and set up her bassinet, filled up her dresser, and now just about all that's missing is her!

I seem to be getting slower by the day, even though I still don't really look like a beached whale. It's getting harder to get up, roll over, etc. also. I weigh 145 pounds! Braxton-Hicks contractions have started...they don't hurt, but they do feel a little uncomfortable. Soon we'll visit a pediatrician and take a tour of the hospital. Those last few weeks are going to feel so long, just waiting...

Week 31

The list of things I have trouble doing is getting longer! I told John I can't do the dishes anymore because my belly forces me away from the sink so I have to bend over awkwardly to reach the water. How unfortunate. :) Also lying on my back is pretty much completely out now...sleeping in general is less comfortable. Last night BL kicked something that quite startled me and I reacted rather visibly...I hope that doesn't happen while I'm teaching!

We went to the doctor on Monday to check on things. Her little heart was beating nice and strong, and it seems her head is already pointed down, which I think is good...the doctor said she probably won't turn back. Now the appointments are once every two weeks. This week we'll call a pediatric practice and also try to arrange a tour of the hospital, so we'll know what to do when the big moment comes!

Week 30

I'm trying not to count down the days! BL is getting bigger, definitely making it harder for her mommy to do things like eat regular meals, bend over, work out on the elliptical machine, and wear any pre-pregnancy clothes. She also moves almost all the time now. The biggest milestone this week is that some of her pokes and kicks have started to be rather uncomfortable! This all sounds pretty negative, but there are some upsides too...people have really started to notice that I'm having a baby, and they will talk to me about it, and hold doors open and offer me their seats on the bus. I am trying to take the advice that I've now heard from numerous sources: start saying "yes" when people offer you things! It's not as easy as it sounds.

I'm also really looking forward to the coming of spring in general. I think it will be nice to have BL begin her life just as all kinds of other new life is emerging outdoors as well. Also we are really hoping that we know much more about what the future holds by then...if John gets an offer, it may even be in the next two to four weeks! All we can do is hope...

Week 29 (almost)

Well, tonight I finally did it...at 10:30pm, I asked John to go get me some donuts, because I really wanted them! I don't know about this craving stuff. I mean I COULD have done without them, but it's all part of the experience, right? Anyway, John made me write it down in the baby book, and after eating two donuts I must say I do feel satisfied!

According to the baby websites, our little girl should be about 14 or 15 inches long and weigh about 2.5 pounds. Honestly it's getting harder and harder to wait to see her...April 2nd still seems like a long way away, but I can feel her poking around all the time. I know she has to put on a lot of fat now, but it's still hard to wait. Mike and Susan brought us a white dresser to store her things in, and we rearranged the apartment a little bit in anticipation of having another person here. So far we don't have too much for her...a few clothing items, a couple of toys, and some books (that are really for me). I had been keeping all of it in a bag in the closet, but now I took it out and arranged it in the drawers, so it seems like she really has a place with us already. Now we just need her to fill it.

Some positive news: it seems I'm finally able to do some exercise just about every day. The yoga program really helps! I do it every other day, and then the other days I do something more aerobic. It's working out well. For a while there I wondered if I would actually start losing weight because I can't fit very much food in my belly anymore...but as long as I'm eating multiple donuts at 11pm, weight loss is probably unlikely!

The Home Stretch!

Today marks the official beginning of my and BL's third trimester! We've had a good first Christmas season together, and BL got lots of gifts including some funny clothes: a cute little shirt that looks like an iPod, only it says "iPoo'd," and also a Cleveland Browns onesie from Uncle Nick of course. BL's dad got matching outfits for BL and me, as well as a pregnancy yoga program to keep both of us healthy. We can't wait to take pictures (and video, on our new video camera that we got from BL's grandparents)!

I feel her moving a lot every day now. I was sitting in a seminar this week and she decided to be active...so active that anyone who looked at my belly would have been able to see her poking around! I actually found this a little embarrassing...it occurred to me that some people might think it's gross. Some pregnant women complain that strangers touch their bellies without permission. I haven't had that problem yet...I think as long as people keep asking me first, it's fine. And I don't expect strangers to ask me! But anyway, I can now tell easily from her movements how big she is (over one foot) and sometimes even which way she is pointed. Sometimes she also has the hiccups.

I'm definitely big enough now that strangers ask me when I'm due (so they're pretty sure I'm not just gaining weight, as one of my officemates apparently thought for a while). I guess I am ok with my size at this point, and I'm only uncomfortable when I eat a lot at one time. But BL still has three months to grow...she should be 7 or 8 inches longer, and put on a lot more fat by the time she is born, so that means I have to get a lot bigger too! It's a little frightening.

The last piece of news is that we're pretty sure what BL's name is. It is standing the test of time so far, has good roots in both of our families, and sounds pretty. But of course it won't be finalized until we meet her face to face. We can't wait!